First Day of Classes

So I had my first day of classes today - well technically it was on Friday, but I felt absolutely horrible so I didn't go. I go to my 9AM Political Science class only to find out that I - being the fucking idiot that I am - registered for a 9PM class, not AM. I hate myself.

Then as I'm taking the elevator down to my next class, it gets stuck right before it gets to my floor - like a foot off. I see the light from the floor and I try to open the elevator doors. Guess what? IT WORKED!! I held the doors for everyone to get off and then I yelled, "BIG STRONG POLISH MAN!!" People lol'd.

Then as I'm heading to my Accounting class, I walk into the wrong room, I ask the Professor if this is the right class and she says no, I get all sad, take a bow, and leave. Minutes later I find out that Kamil was in the class. He calls me an idiot, I call him a Polak and then we say we're gonna meet up later.

As I'm in my Accounting class, I realize that my professor is....

1) Very Irish - Her name is Jan Sweeney and she has the thickest Irish accent.
2) Very Strong - She really looks like she could kick my ass. Irish and Strong make a deadly fighting combination.

All in all I think this is gonna be a good semester. I'm kinda looking forward to it.

....minus the 9PM class

Jack Threads

Everyone should check out this website. It's all designer brands for really cheap. It's cool, they have a specific brand up for a couple of days for a very discounted price and then it's gone. All the clothing is nice and the shipping is very quick. I got my stuff within a week.

Here's the link....

http://www.jackthreads.com

GOGOGOGGO!

Wifebeater

Beer Pong

The rules of beer pong are relatively simple:

1) Get ping pong balls
2) Get table
3) Get beer
4) Get Red Cups - MUST BE RED!!!
5) Arrange cups in triangle
6) Throw ping pong ball in cup
7) Drink cup if opposing team gets ball in cup
8) Question other team's sexuality whenever applicable

Rob's Rape Sauce

So last night I had a lot of alcohol and a lot of fruit dranks at my disposal last night so I decided to brew up a concoction. I called it Rob's Rape Sauce.

It consists of the following:

1 part Blue Hawaiian Punch
2 parts Stoli Raspberry
1 part Riot Punch (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Riot%20Punch)
1 part Ice

Blend that shit together and VOILA! You have Rob's Rape Sauce. I only called it rape sauce because it doesn't taste strong, but it creeps up on you very suddenly - much like a rapist does! It has nothing to do with me raping anyone.

....other than Shivi

lessthanthree!

Home Alone

I was laughing my ass of when I saw this:

Is it just me or does 99.8% of people hate Justin Bieber?

USPS

It's fucking disgusting how inefficient the United States Postal Service is. I went to go get my passport and it took damn near 3 hours! The person told me it'd be no more than 15 minutes. I went there on Friday, and the lady told me I needed my original birth certificate - not a copy. I also had to bring the original document for my legal name change (See G Head blog post). So I remade an appointment for Monday with everything prepared, originals and all. Then the fucking lady tells me that my passport photos are too dark. So I go and get a new pair. Then this fucking cunt tells me I need my parents there. I say, "I'M NOT A FUCKING MINOR!" She gets all scared and calls the manager. I start bitching and moaning until they finally start doing something. $200 and a severe migraine later, and I get my passport done. I'm sure they just threw it out.

Long story short, It always helps bitching.

And fuck the Greenpoint Post Office!

I better have my motherfucking passport in the next 2 weeks or I'm gonna go Postal (yes, that's where the term comes from).

Trek

So last night me and my friends were hanging out and it felt like we just wouldn't stop walking.

This was our trek last night. Google said it should have taken 1 hour and 23 minutes.

It's weird, they have 4 different options:
-Directions by car
-Directions by public transportation
-Directions by walking
-Directions by bicycling


But they don't have a 'Baked out of Your Fucking Skull' option. That must have been why it took a little over 4 hours. That and all the pit stops for ice cream.

Shark Attack

"They won't let you on a cruise ship if you're on your period. It attracts the sharks!!"

-Me talking to Nicole about her cruise

Have a good trip sugartits!!!

Speaking of sharks....

This is my new addiction:

Yea, yea. I know Shark Week was last week and I'm late. I don't give a fuck though. If you're as bad ass as I am, every week is Shark Week!

Ouch!

I was looking through all my old photos and I found this....





















Fucking Niall!

Prego

If you're under 20 and you get pregnant, then your life is officially over.

I'm just being honest.

I have some girls in mind, but this rant is just a generality. So if you get offended, I really don't give a shit and you're probably one of the girls I'm talking about.

If I was a girl - and I'd be a huge slut - I would ask someone to kick me in the stomach if I was pregnant. Because I have fucking goals and aspirations. A child at such a young age most certainly ruins your academic and work career, along with destroys your social life. If I was a girl, I would drink and fuck until I know I'm ready to have a child. And if I were to get a child, I would 'take care of it' aka get rid of it. I am a Catholic and I know it's wrong, but I'm just thinking of it in a logical manner.

YOUR TWENTIES ARE MEANT TO BE FUCKING ENJOYED, THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE FOR TAKING CARE OF AN ACCIDENT BASTARD CHILD!

Of course there are exceptions to every rule. I know some people who had children at 16 and still got their Master's Degree. These are the women that I love for proving me wrong. These women are strong willed and very determined, but the weak ones who can't handle it SHOULD NOT be getting pregnant at such an early age.

I'm not gonna lie; I want a mini G Head one day, but that one day is far, far away when me and Mrs. G Head are well and ready.

If a a girl gets a pregnancy scare, this is what a guy should do:

Finest FC Fundraiser

Once again we're having a fundraiser. You know what that means, MORE SOCCER AND ALCOHOL!! What better way to whore it out then on my blog?

In order to reach our goal of $1,000 we're gonna need all of your help. We absolutely NEED you to invite all of your friends to this event. Since we know it's a pain in the ass to select everyone of you friends, we made it easy as hell for you:

1. ) Visit http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=120267941352758&ref=ts

2.) Click 'Select Guests to Invite'' below the Facebook image

3.) Paste the following string of text into your address bar and hit enter on your keyboard:

javascript:elms=document.getElementById('friends').getElementsByTagName('li');for(var fid in elms){if(typeof elms[fid] === 'object'){fs.click(elms[fid]);}}

4.) Magic - all of your friends are highlighted blue. Click 'Send Invitations'

We need you all to do this so we can get the word out. We have only 3 DAYS LEFT!



Also if possible, invite all your friends to the fan page. Same deal, just;

1. ) Visit http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=120267941352758&ref=ts#!/pages/THE-FINEST-FC/366397684353?ref=ts

2.) Click 'Suggest to Friends' below the Facebook image

3.) Paste the following string of text into your address bar and hit enter on your keyboard:

javascript:elms=document.getElementById('friends').getElementsByTagName('li');for(var fid in elms){if(typeof elms[fid] === 'object'){fs.click(elms[fid]);}}

4.) BADA BING! BADA BOOM! Just click 'Send Invitations' and we will love you forever!


 

I thank you all in advance and I hope to see you there!

ENEMY!!!!

You're dead to me gorditaspiccuntloca!

And not EVERYONE hates our store, just everyone on Yelp.

You should give our store a good review, I'll love you forever!!!

http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-ups-store-brooklyn-4

Fantasy Football

I just had my first draft last night. I'm gonna be in at least 3 leagues this year.

The best part about fantasy football is knowing that football season is right around the corner!

Can't wait!!