FUCK THE PATRIOTS!!!!

I love seeing a Patriots loss almost as much as I love watching a Jets win.

Oh yea, I'm drinking that Haterade - AND I FUCKING LOVE IT!

Top 5 Hated Patriots:

Bill Belichick - The cutoff sleeve sweatshirt makes you look like a douchebag
Tom Brady - Someone needs to hit him so hard that he can never fucking walk again
Randy Moss - That beard makes you look like a pedophile
Teddy Bruschi - I hope he gets another stroke
Junior Seau and his pathetic TV show Sports Jobs

Fucking cawksukkas!

That's my rant.







....fuck you Giselle.

Shoo Fly, Don't Bother Me!

I was taking a leak and a fly flew into my piss stream and drowned. NO JOKE!


Fucker got the business!

...or should I say Piss-ness!?

Woodhull Hospital

My mom, uncle, and myself were in the car and we drove past Woodhull Hospital. My mom goes to my uncle, "That's where Robert was born. Maybe that's why he's so ghetto."

Even my mom knows I'm a thug.

It also explains my love for black girls.

Babies

I don't know what it is, but it seems to be that infants fucking hate me. Whenever I see a cute kid on the train, I try to make it smile or laugh. The end result is the baby ends up crying and me feeling like a complete asshole. I don't know what it is - I seriously fucking don't. I see people making stupid faces at kids and the baby is all shits and giggles. But when I fucking do it, the baby starts hysterically crying. I mean come on! I don't think I'm that ugly. What am doing to make this kid hate me and start crying? One day, I promise I'll make a baby laugh. Practice makes perfect. I don't care if I have to make ten, even a hundred children cry, I WILL MAKE A BABY GO SHITS AND GIGGLES!

It's shit like this that makes me fucking hate children. I guess I just don't get kids.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I fucking love Thanksgiving. It's one of my all-time favorite holidays. Mainly due to the food and the company. This is gonna be a crappy one though. It's the second time in 3 years that I'm spending Thanksgiving in the hospital - it's basically a tradition now - fuckin' a. Hopefully I make the best of it. Even though it's been a rough year, I still gotta buttload to be thankful for....

Family
Friends
Health
Football
Atomic Wings
The New York Jets
All the New Friends I made
Columbia?

Thanksgiving officially starts at 12:30. Then it's football and food all motherfucking day!

Math

"What's 3+6?"

"Is it 9?"

"Congratulations! You just passed Polish Calculus!"

?

Who wants to go to a Jets game at Gillette Stadium next year? I am 100% serious! It's about a year away so that's plenty of time for you motherfucks to get some money and think about it. I think it would be so bad ass going to a Jets-Patriots game in New England.

Me and Niall couldn't even watch the game. We ended up going to the city when we saw it was 21-0. It was the first time since I don't know when that I didn't finish watching the Jets game. On a side note, I did get new shoes. Woohoo!



I seriously hate the Patriots so fucking much!

Joke of the Week

So Jesus and Moses are in Heaven and they get bored. Moses asks Jesus, "Hey, wanna go for a vacation?" Jesus says sure. With a snap of his fingers, Jesus and Moses are on a boat in the middle of the ocean. After a couple of beers, Moses goes to Jesus and says, "Remember this?" and he waves his hands and parts the water. Jesus is laughing his ass off and goes, "You remember this?" and he steps out of the boat.

1 step, 2 step, and he falls in.

Moses helps him back in the boat. Jesus says, "Woah, let me try that again!" He takes a step out of the boat.

1 step, 2 step, and he falls in again.

Moses helps him back in the boat again. Jesus says, "Hold on, one more time! It has been 2,000 years." He takes another step out of the boat.

1 step, 2 step, and he falls in again for the third time.

Moses helps him back in and says, "You know Jesus, 2,000 years ago you didn't have those holes in your feet."







ZING!

Don't get offended. I'm Catholic and I love that joke.

X Marks the Spot!

So I drew a little pirate map on myself today during work - as seen above. When we were out with the guys at Atomics, Peter asked me about it. I showed him the whole thing and then I said, "X marks the spot!" and I slapped the shit out of him! Then he pursued to salt me.



Totally worth it.







I fucking love Atomic Fridays.

Pimp My Ride

Me and Niall saw this on our way to Greenpoint.


I don't know whether this is a hipster or a hillbilly pickup truck - you can never tell the difference between the two sometimes.

Where's Xzibit when you need him?

Story of My Life

My mind is way too fucking active. I tend to over think everything and I hate that I do. Whenever I start over thinking, I get super pessimistic regarding the matter at hand - even though things usually end up okay. I seriously feel like I'm gonna have a fucking meltdown in the not-so-distant-future. That or go into a state of total depression. All because I can't stop over thinking shit. Story of my fucking life. I'm really not big on showing emotions. So I guess I gotta just keep making cheesy jokes and try to keep my mind off of things.

Where do Polish people keep their armies?

















In their sleevies.

HI-5

So me and Niall were walking around aimlessly and we stop by Kings Pharmacy because we really wanted to buy and action figure so we could set on fire (for nostalgic purposes). While we were heading there, we saw this sign. It was shaped like an atom bomb and it said HI-5, so I just had to have it! We both just looked at each other and said, "Sign?!" and we both knew were taking it. We end up heading back home because we realize we need scissors to cut it down - plus we both really had to take a shit for we just had some Taco Bell. After a 20 minute intermission, we head back to Bedford between Nth 3rd and 4th, wait til some people walk by, and I give him a boost and he cuts that shit down. IT WAS AWESOME!



DIPSET!

Is It Just Me

Or do the new ads for the Alvin Ailey Dance Studio look a lot like Adrian Peterson?



I'm not the only one who sees it, am I?

New Moon

New Moon ain't got shit on me Gennaro and Mike. New Moon - get it?



I love how Mike looks hypnotized by my pasty white ass.

The x-rated version coming soon!

I Don't Even Like Basketball

But Damn!!!!



Varejao's mad cuz Wade is stylin on him!

OH YOU MAD!

I Just Had To!

Are you a pie?

Because you make my Banana Cream!








Credit to Fiesta!

New Addiction

I'm in love - even though I fucking suck at it.

Friday Night

Friday night can be described by four words:

Atomic Wings

and....

GET HYPHY!!!!

<3

Did You Know?

Did you know that the S. in Harry S. Truman stands for S.? His middle name is just a letter. That's kind of bad ass. I was gonna say that's just like Homer's name - but his full name is Homer Jay Simpson.

I'm gonna get a letter middle name. How does Robert O. Wnorowski sound? ROBERT O! O. ROBERT! Get it?

Yes, this is how fucking bored I get.

P.S. I got Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. Shit is sick! Even though I suck balls at it. I needed something to hold me over until I figure out what to do with my Madden.

Bedford Preacher

I fucking hate this guy, but this was really interesting. He definitely has a problem though, I just thought he was an annoying motherfucker who craved to have his voice heard. He has the Anderson's though, so he gets two points there.


Study For "A Moral Society" from russel fong on Vimeo.

Quite a Dilemma

Decisions! Decisions!

RAWR!!!!

Normally I'd like to think I'm a nice guy. But I seriously have a horrible temper when it comes to two things; sports and video games. Sports I can understand due to man's primitive and competitive nature. I guess video games can fall within the same criteria, but seriously, I don't understand why I get so fucking pissed playing Gears of War 2, Madden, Halo, etc. It was never that bad until this year. Within the span of 10 months, I've broken:

2 Headsets
2 Controllers
My Madden (just happened today due to me actually punching the shit out of my X Box last night)
My X Box (not due to punching the shit out of it)

I seriously think I have a problem. The worst part is that - no matter how much I spend - I will never learn.

I'm either getting a new Madden or a Modern Warfare 2 tomorrow. I'll probably end up breaking it eventually though.

I think Niall sums it up pretty well HERE!

No Shave November

I'm gonna end up looking like Moses come November's end. Hopefully the patches are gone! It's only four days in and I'm already sick of it. But I must prevail! Let the hair growing begin (©Danny)! I'll keep you posted.

Brooklyn Hospital

Brooklyn Hospital is most certainly a weird place. Weird isn't the right word, but I don't know what else I should say. I had a doctor's appointment on Friday and I have TWO stories to tell!

Okay, so I go to Brooklyn Hospital, sign in, and then I just sit down in the waiting room. I'm sitting like three seats away from this elderly black guy and I notice that his shoe is untied. So - of course - I said to him, "Excuse me sir, your shoe's untied." He looks down and notices is. Then he says, "Oh yea?!". He then goes down to his other shoe - the one that is tied - and he unties it dramatically! Then he says, "Take that, CRACKER!" I was literally flabbergasted! I didn't know what the fuck to say, I was just in shock.

While I'm still waiting, I ask out loud if anyone has a pen. I have a newspaper with me and I wanna do my Sudoku puzzles. So this girl comes up to me and hands me a pen. I thank her and think that's the end of it, but it was only the beginning. She starts talking to me. I try to pay her no mind because I'm really into my Sudoku, but then again I have to pay some attention to her since she gave me the pen. She asks me what I'm here for and I tell her that I'm here for my knees. I ask her the same question, and she tells me she has Lupus! I didn't know much about the disease, but I do know that it's an autoimmune disorder. I thought it was like AIDS so I was honestly kinda creeped out. I felt so bad for her! Then I realize that she's flirting with me, which creeped me out even more! She asked me if I had a girlfriend. I told her I did, and she looked DEVASTATED! I felt even worse! Then there was an awkward silence and eventually my doctor comes out and calls me in. Talk about perfect timing! I thank her for the pen, give it back to her, and walk away. I felt so horrible!

I ended up getting a pen from the receptionist. And funny enough, it's a pen with a BMI indicator on it. When I go to check mine, it was all in the red. Red = Bad. She basically told me to lose some weight. Fucking bitch!



On a lighter note, I did end up finishing the Sudoku puzzles. And it made me realize that if I play my cards right, I will never have to pay for a pen ever again. Woohoo!



This place gives me the heebie-jeebies!

Joke of the Week

I'm gonna try to do one of these each week. Stay posted!!