Funniest Thing I've Heard All Day!

Q: What word has the most letters in it?

A: Mailbox


I was in my doctor's office and I happened to pick up Highlights - the childrens magazine. I read that and it had me bursting out in laughter. Everyone was looking at me. By the way, I also found all the hidden items in the picture! Oh how I miss that magazine.









I'm almost done with my Columbia Application. And when I do finish, I promise much more posts!

No, Seriously

I think I might be going to hell for laughing at this. I actually prayed for forgiveness afterwards.



50 seconds in is my favorite part.

C'MON SON!

WOOPS, I mean....


Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit!

For those who have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about, CLICK HERE!

Atomic Wings

Atomic Wings is turning into one of my favorite places in the world. The past 3-4 weekends me and the guys have been going there. Fiesta, Danny, and myself initially set up the first trip - and now it has become a weekly endeavor. I don't know how, but I always lose my voice after Atomic Wings. The food is amazing, but the company is what makes it so bad ass - no homo. If you haven't come with us and we actually like you, then I suggest you come ASAP. The more the merrier.




P.S. Fuck Team Scooted! <3

January Jones-Wnorowski

After reading her interview in this months GQ (yea I read GQ, sue me!), January Jones is my new favorite woman of all time! I sincerely think I'm in love. Her Sundays consist of drinking beer and watching football! GET THIS - she's gonna be Troy Polamalu for Halloween! That's even more bad ass than what me and Niall are gonna be! Oh man, I can already picture us hanging out on the couch, watching the Jets and Bears game and throwing back a couple of brews. I really gotta catch up on Mad Men. I miss me some Betty Draper!

Seriously, will you marry me?

Catholic School Girls Rule!

This is a convo between me and Fiesta....

R:Yo
R:Does this make me a pedophile?
R:I saw some catholic high school girls in their uniforms and was like damn!
R:I miss those days
F:ye....
F:NO
F:I'd punch a baby in the face before passing up on a catholic school girl. No joke!

I love this kid.

Social Experiment # 1

So I was bored one day at school and decided to write something on the bathroom walls. I wrote, "I love shitting here! - 9/24/09" I really wanted to see what kind of reaction I would get. My hypothesis was that people would tag up the walls no matter what, but I figured there would be at least some mention of how awesome it is to shit there. They will tag up for two reasons;
1) They will want to put in their two cents.
2) People want their voice heard no matter where they are.
3) It really is the best place to take a dump on campus!


Here are the results...

My initial things that I wrote:





Eventually there was more:







I went in last week to see how it was going and the cleaning crew decided to paint over it.... fuckers! Fortunately, the movement did not die. I went in there today to check on it. Here are my findings:







In conclusion, my hypothesis was correct! People who see something written on the walls - even something about taking a dump - will want to put in their input and be heard.... no matter where they are. Overall, I must say this was a successful experiment. Although I did not take in to consideration that the cleaning crew would paint over it. I wanted to record my progress over the whole semester and have a whole mural dedicated to how awesome it is to poop there. I'm not sure whether I should just finish my experiment or continue with it til the end of the semester. Your two cents will be greatly appreciated!

I just realized I have one of my college professors as a friend on Facebook (where I always post links to my blog) Hopefully you'll appreciate the social experiment, and not see it as vandalism, Professor Symister! After all, you are a Psychology professor!

R.I.P.

This is indeed a sad day for me. I have lost such a great friend. I think sharing my grief would help me ease my burdens.

Me and the Santana's met right before graduation when my friend, Michael introduced me to them, along with the Melvins and the Dontrelles for $250. At first, we weren't close at all. Slowly but surely we became inseparable. Everywhere I went, they were right there with me. I still remember when they got their first scuff. We were playing football at the lot and I dragged my toes and messed up the front. At first I thought that was gonna be the end of them, but their flaws just made me love them more and more. Eventually there were more scuffs and more hardships. I wasn't going to abandon them. They were in such pain that I had to clip their wings. I knew they were gonna have to be put down, but I just couldn't force myself to do that.

Then came the day.

The left got caught on something and got a huge hole in it. I still wasn't ready to let them go, but eventually the hole just kept getting worse and worse. I didn't want to, but I knew it was time.


I am just thankful for all the special moments that the Santana's and I shared together. And with that, I hope that they will continue to live on in my heart and in my mind.

I still cannot believe that you're gone.

Bills vs. Jets

The Bills vs. the Jets was one of the most disappointing games I have ever seen! It's days like these that make me hate being a Jets fan. The funniest part of that horrid showing was all the texts and ims I was sending and receiving. It's funny how quick the mood changed....

Here are some texts and ims:

-Jets just hurt Trent Edwards! haha

-I FUCKING LOVE THOMAS JONES! FANTASY POINTS GONE WILD!

-The Bills are so trash!!

-Giants got so raped.

-LOL!!!!! THE RAIDERS?!?!!?!?!

-If the Jets lose, Ima go apeshit!

-Another int. Sanchez needs to get used to this weather.

-It's never this cold in Mexico

-Andrew called JC Mr Potato Head.

-We have to have johns (excuses) cuz Sanchez is licking balls

-5 for 18 with 3 ints. That's the worst rating ever.

-I fucking love Braylon, TJ, and Washington! Sanchez not so much.

-Sanchez is pissing me off!

-Sanchez is so horrible!

-If ths Bills win I will cry.

-I'm so pissed!

-The Jets D needs to make a big play. (Jets intercept the ball as soon as I write that)

-SPEAK OF THE DEVIL!

-Today shows he hates the cold and Giants Stadium

-Today shows he hates the Jets!

-Sanchez needs to get deported!

-Our fucking QB went all Michael Karkosza and kept throwing it to the other team.

-LOL!!!!! THE BILLS!?!?!??



It's days like these that make me hate being a Jets fan. Plus I lost 5 bucks that should have been guaranteed to me.

Pick-up Line of the Year

Do you have a map?

Because I want to have sex with you.

Hard Times

Hard Times is the new book I'm reading. It's the author - Studs Terkel - interviewing people who experienced the Great Depression first hand. Obviously, it's very depressing. It's not all sad though. There are some cool stories in it; and there are so many different perspectives. There are actually some people who made money during the Depression. Even though I just basically started reading, it's a really good book and I definitely recommend it - especially if you want to witness real life stories of what went on during that time - not just what you read in the textbooks.

My Mother is PISSED!

I just farted so loud that it woke her up. I was in the other room. All I heard from her was, "Dlaczego pierdzis tak kurwa głośno?!?!?!" Which is, "Why do you fart so fucking loud?!?!?!" in Polish.

She is not a happy camper.

Lebron James is a Powerful Motherfucker!

Within 72 hours of punching Lebron James' friend - Edward Givens - Braylon Edwards has been run out of Cleveland and traded to the New York Jets. Now you see the ramifications of fucking with Lebron James and his friends. I'm hoping Braylon Edwards is a good pickup for the Jets.

L Train Delayed After Someone Kills Themself at the 1st Avenue Station

According to Gothamist, someone jumped in front of a Manhattan bound L train on the First Avenue station. The MTA or the NYPD aren't disclosing any information, but they're saying that the L is out of commission until 5 o'clock. It's kind of sad; but what's sadder is that all the comments are people about him. Someone wrote:

"On another note, it's stories like this that show just how selfish people are that commit suicide. He/she could have done it in any other way that did not negatively affect others. But no, he/she decided in his/her own hubris to make sure that his/her death was (a) broadcasted to all and (b) delayed public transportation in a major metropolitan area."

What's saddest of all is that when I heard this, my second thought was, "Poor guy." My first thought was, "How the hell am I gonna get to class today?" Does that make me a bad person? I'm pretty sure it does.

Future Tattoo?

DO YOU LOVE IT, OR DO YOU LOVE IT?!