Mr. Little Dick

So somehow Fiesta, Kenia, and myself ended up talking about Danny and micro penises - no offense Long story short, some guy ends up coming up to me and says, "Excuse me Mr. Little Dick, do you know where Auto is?" The three of us just looked at the guy like he was crazy. I was literally about to beat the shit out of him. He apologized and said he was sorry and that he just overheard us talking. We called him a creep and he walked away.
 
I really wanted to beat the shit out of him, but I didn't know what to do. How would you react if someone came up to you randomly and called you Mr. Little Dick?


Me and Fiesta are gonna find him and cut his fingers off for shaming me!

Buffalo Cantina

My friend Gennaro told about this thing called the "Seppuku Challenge" at Buffalo Cantina. Apparently they are the spiciest wings in all of Brooklyn. I just knew I had to try it out. So Kamil, Niall, and myself head there and I tell the guy I want the Seppuku Challenge.The guys says, "Are you sure?" I hesitate a little and reply, "Fuck it, why not?"

For those who don't know what Seppuku is;

seppuku: ritual suicide by self-disembowelment on a sword; practiced by samurai in the traditional Japanese society

And the completing the Seppuku Challenge gets me;

-A horrible burning senstation in my mouth for a day
-A fiery bowel for two days
-Complete and utter Youtube humiliation - if applicable
-Uncontrollable sweating and crying
-My meal paid for on the house
-My picture on the wall
-A free T-Shirt

The guy makes me sign a waiver - no joke! I'll have a picture of it up soon. I was starting to get nervous, but I couldn't back down now.

The food comes out and.... well here's a video. Enjoy!




There was a wing hidden under all the bones, that's what screwed me over. Not to mention the fact that I started hiccuping, and I didn't know I could have a drink until halfway through. But fuck that shit, NO EXCUSES!

I'm trying it again in another two weeks, when Gennaro comes back so he could watch me survive the Seppuku Challenge! I want my picture on the wall and a fucking T-Shirt!

Joke of the Week

What do hookers and butter have in common?







They both spread for the bread.

-credit to Niall

I just put on my lol-ler skates;
Rode to the rofl-copter;
And jumper into the lol-cano.

Twitter

I actually did it, I made a Twitter. I must say. Within the 30 minutes since making one, I fucking hate it already. I almost deleted it twice. Hopefully this thing gets better.

Anyways....

https://twitter.com/wnorowski

Follow me motherfuckers!

Okay so I just uninstalled Twitter from my phone, I wasn't even on it for 12 hours, but I fucking hated it. I don't get why the fuck people like that shit. Twitter DEEZ NUTS for all I care.

Okay so I reinstalled and it's meh. I'm not on it 24/7, but I do update it her and there.

Jets Baby!

Me and Niall went to Hooters to watch the Jets game. We were seated next to this family and there was this little kid there. This is by far the most awesome baby I have ever seen! Whenever I did the J-E-T-S chant he would get out of his seat and say go Jets and give me a high 5! His parents were nice enough to let me take a picture with him.

The Hooters lady looks like she thinks I was going to eat him.

If only the Jets pulled it out. Sadface.

Well I guess there's always next year.

Quote of the Week

"It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met."

-Anonymous

IT GOT POSTED ON TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT!

Link!

Aw yea!

Spell Check

So I just went on to Niall's Blog and corrected every single spelling mistake and grammatical error. I though it was gonna take about 25 minutes. It fucking took 1 hour, 14 minutes, and 50 seconds. It felt like an eternity.



I now know what hell feels like.

Taboo

Me, Niall, Victor, and Oscar were playing Taboo last night.  Me and Niall were on the same team - it was whites against ethnics. It was my turn and the word was Wide Receiver.  This is how the dialog went;


R: Wayne Chrebet is my favorite?
N: Football player!
R: No, what did he play?
N: Jets
R: What position?
N: Um, Linebacker?
R: LINEBACKER?! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?
N: Woops, I meant Quarterback.
R: NO!!!! Ugh, what does Randy Moss play?
N: Wide Receiver!
R: Fucking finally! Linebacker!? Seriously?!



Linebacker!? Seriously Niall!?

I also found out that Niall is allergic to carrots. Through a game of Taboo of all things. I'm a horrible best friend

Madden 08

Words cannot describe how much I fucking hate this game. For the past week I've been going over Victor's to play it. I've never been able to beat him in this game. Mainly due to all the bullshit that goes on during the game.

Here's an example of the kind of games we have:


First Half
I'm always the Jets
Victor usually plays as the Broncos, but he always bitches and says I'm not worthy
I complain and threaten not to play at all til he actually goes Broncos
I win the coin toss and kick the ball so I could get it in the 2nd half
Cutler - reminding you it's Madden 08 - drops back 30 steps and gets sacked or intercepted
Vic goes for it on 4th and 30
Vic doesn't make it
I end up kicking a Field Goal
Vic tries scrambling with Cutler and fumbles
I run the ball with Thomas Jones, playing somewhat conservative
I end up scoring
Vic gets the ball
Vic goes for it on 4th Down - doesn't make it again.
I get the ball and end up scoring before Haltime
Halftime - G Head 17 Victor 0

Second Half
I get the ball
I try a quick pass and it gets intercepted by Champ Bailey for a Touchdown
Vic goes for 2 and doesn't make it
I get the ball back
Thomas Jones runs for 10 yards and gets hit hard
Thomas Jones fumbles the ball
I start screaming, "Are you fucking serious!?"
Jay Cutler drops back 30 yards, throws the ball like Derek Jeter does, Brandon Marshall catches it for 30 yards
I scream at the TV again
I stop the Broncos
Vic goes for it on 4th and 35
Jay Cutler drops back another 20 yards and Brandon Marshall catches it with his asscheeks for another touchdown
Vic goes for 2 and makes it
G Head 17 Vic 14
Chad Pennington passes to Justin McCareins for an 80 yard touchdown- once again, it's 08
Jay Cutler throws a quick pass to Brandon Marshall and Darelle Revis FUCKING BOUNCES OFF MARSHALL AND MARSHALL SCORES A MOTHERFUCKING TOUCHDOWN!
I ask everyone in the room if they saw that bullshit?!
Everyone is laughing hysterically
G Head 24 Vic 21
I try a run with Thomas Jones AND HE FUCKING FUMBLES AGAIN!
Vic starts running the clock out
There's about 15 seconds left and Vic is on his own 35
I think I have a chance to win
Jay Cutler drops back all the way to his own endzone
Jay Cutler does another Derek Jeter pass to Brandon Marshall AND THAT FUCKING COCKSUCKER SCORES ANOTHER TOUCHDOWN!
Clock runs out
G Head 24 Vic 27
I keep screaming that this is bullshit and slam my controller to the ground.

I swear I fucking hate this game. I don't hate the game nowhere near as much as I hate Victor. I don't get how he always does it. I feel like he's got some magical Puerto Rican dust that always lets him win.

I did kick his ass in Madden 10 though, so that made me feel a little better.

FUCK YOU VICTOR!

Boredom