Epic Morning!

Oscar and myself had quite a morning.

I spent 25 dollars on McDonalds breakfast.

Bought a hand grenade and a bowling ball. 

Found out that the 7/11 in Greenpoint opened. I was so happy!

It also took about 3 hours to get home. It normally takes 15 minutes from where we were.

This was what was in my possession when I got home:

 

  
-2 mixtapes

-A $5 gift certificate to KCDC

-A comb

-A quarter

-A MOTHERFUCKING HAND GRENADE!

-A $20 receipt for McDonalds breakfast. OSCAR HAD TO GET HOT CAKES!

-A condom (you know how I does!)

-A Krink paint marker

-A bowling ball!

-A bottle of disgustingly hot water







Oh! What a night! 

I would blog about the actual night, but most of it's a blur. All I really remember is that Nicole clogged the toilet. Whenever she takes a piss, a troll comes out of her giant vagina. 

He didn't survive. 

Vinnies Pizza

VOTE OR DIE!

....unless it's for something other than Vinnies. Then you can just die.

Finally!

I got my Atomic Wings shirt!

I feel like a bad ass now!

Afri.... I Mean Kenia

I almost killed Kenia on Friday. We were at Chipotle and she took a bite of her burrito. As she is doing this, I tell an awesome joke and she starts laughing hysterically. So the burrito goes down the wrong hole and she starts choking. Me and Fiesta start laughing, but the we remember she's an asthmatic so we realize she's actually choking! I get all nervous and shit so I call the Chipotle guy and tell her she's joking. By this time she's fine though.


I guess I'm just too damn funny!



WARNING: Eating food near G Head may cause you to choke and die due to him being so fucking funny!

....eating food near G Head may also cause him to steal your food.

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Phaal Challenge

So me, Danny, Dennis, Gennaro, and Fiesta all decided to go to the Bricklane Curry House for lunch today. We all really wanted to try the Phaal Challenge. It's supposed to be the hottest curry ever. We all get there and our waiter says, "You guys just look like you wanna try the Phaal Challenge, don't you?" We all just laugh and nod. Me and Danny are hesitant at first, but that's only because we see that they have an all you can eat lunch special for 10 bucks - the Phaal alone is 17 bucks (WE IN A RECESSION DOG). After about a minute of everyone there calling us bitches we decide to do it. Gennaro orders lamb, the rest of us order chicken. The waiter suggests we order Mango Lassi. He says it's better than milk to relieve the spiciness. We trust him since we're sure he knows what the fuck he's talking about. After a couple of minutes the Mango Lassi and the Phaal come out. Here's a picture of them:

We dig in! After a bite or two we realize how hot it actually is. It's nowhere near as hot as the Buffalo Cantina wings, but it's still fucking spicy! We all grab for our water. Dennis throws in the towel after a couple of bites. None of us could blame him, but the rest of us really wanted that certificate. I look across the table at Gennaro and he's already soaking in sweat and tearing. I man up and fight through the pain. I'm the first one to finish. The waiter comes by and says, "We have our first Curry Monster!" I get mad gassed and chug the Mango Lassi to get the hot taste out of my mouth. I finish the whole thing in about 20-30 minutes. The next person to finish - Genarro - takes about 90 minutes. Everyone keeps taking one bite, stopping for 10 minutes, then taking another bite. Either I ate it really quick, or they're just bitches. Eventually Fiesta finishes, and then Danny shortly after. We feel like shit, but we're all really proud that we actually did it.

Here's a picture of the four of us:

GLORY!

We so belong on Man Vs. Food! That guy ain't got shit on us!

Buffalo Cantina

My friend Gennaro told about this thing called the "Seppuku Challenge" at Buffalo Cantina. Apparently they are the spiciest wings in all of Brooklyn. I just knew I had to try it out. So Kamil, Niall, and myself head there and I tell the guy I want the Seppuku Challenge.The guys says, "Are you sure?" I hesitate a little and reply, "Fuck it, why not?"

For those who don't know what Seppuku is;

seppuku: ritual suicide by self-disembowelment on a sword; practiced by samurai in the traditional Japanese society

And the completing the Seppuku Challenge gets me;

-A horrible burning senstation in my mouth for a day
-A fiery bowel for two days
-Complete and utter Youtube humiliation - if applicable
-Uncontrollable sweating and crying
-My meal paid for on the house
-My picture on the wall
-A free T-Shirt

The guy makes me sign a waiver - no joke! I'll have a picture of it up soon. I was starting to get nervous, but I couldn't back down now.

The food comes out and.... well here's a video. Enjoy!




There was a wing hidden under all the bones, that's what screwed me over. Not to mention the fact that I started hiccuping, and I didn't know I could have a drink until halfway through. But fuck that shit, NO EXCUSES!

I'm trying it again in another two weeks, when Gennaro comes back so he could watch me survive the Seppuku Challenge! I want my picture on the wall and a fucking T-Shirt!

Atomic Wings

Atomic Wings is turning into one of my favorite places in the world. The past 3-4 weekends me and the guys have been going there. Fiesta, Danny, and myself initially set up the first trip - and now it has become a weekly endeavor. I don't know how, but I always lose my voice after Atomic Wings. The food is amazing, but the company is what makes it so bad ass - no homo. If you haven't come with us and we actually like you, then I suggest you come ASAP. The more the merrier.




P.S. Fuck Team Scooted! <3

Vegetarian?

I think I'm gonna try to be a vegetarian for a week. Not because I love animals; but because I hate plants.

Lets see if I can actually do it.

Day 1: The first day was such a pain in the ass. I had Cookie Crisp in the morning; Sushi for lunch (I'm still eating seafood - so suck it); an Eggplant Parm slice from Vinnie's; and a Falafel for supper. The food wasn't that bad, but it just sucked because my parents made so much BBQ food, and I couldn't have any of it because it all consisted of meat.

Day 2: The second day was nowhere near as bad as the first. I had a single Oatmeal Raisin cookie for breakfast. Then me and Niall went to the city for a bit. This is where I had Chipotle for the first time in my life. I had a Veggie Burrito, which sucked because they had such an amazing assortment of non veggie things. Niall - being the asshole that he is - got a chicken burrito bowl with extra chicken and bacon. I thought I was gonna cry. The Veggie Burrito was actually really good and surprisingly filling. Whodathunkit? Then a couple of hours later, I had some Shrimp with Cashew Nuts. That was so damn good, although the severe lack of shrimp. Those were the two big meals of the day - and a few sweets here and there. Today made me think I can actually do it.

Day 3: The third day started out just like the other two. I had cereal in the morning and then went to work. Eventually I went to the health food store and got a Tuna Wrap and Oriental Nut Mix. After work is when it got really bad. I get home to find out that my mom cooked my absolute favorite meal; Chicken Cutlet. I was so fucking furious, and she was just laughing thinking I'd give in. Luckily I didn't. I went out to get a Falafel. It was no Chicken Cutlet, but it was a decent substitute. Tomorrow I'm gonna try to find some amazing veggie or fish meal that I could eat over and over again for the remainder of the week - I need to find my Chicken Cutlet.

Day 4: So I actually got past the 3 day hump. It's really not that bad anymore. I started with cereal in the morning. Then me and some of my friends went to the beach. After a buttload of swimming, I went to Palace Fried Chicken and got Popcorn Shrimp with Rice and a Salad (not that healthy, but it was so delicious). After the beach, my friends went to Subway and started rubbing in that they were eating my favorite sandwich (Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki). I decided not to eat til I got home and got a Java Chip Frappucino from Starbucks instead. When I got home, I got a Spinach, Tomato, and Feta Cheese slice from Vinnie's which was shockingly amazing - I would definitely eat it again. Even though it's not that bad anymore, I can't wait til Saturday and get this week over with.

Day 5: This isn't even difficult anymore. I do miss meat, but I'm 100% sure I can last for another 2 days. I skipped breakfast today and had a Falafel for lunch. Then I went to a doctor's appointment where I got the absolute worst news ever - I'm not allowed to do any sort of physical activities until further notice due to my knee. He told me I shouldn't even jog. It actually depressed me so much. I was about to go to McDonalds and just get a Big Mac. Luckily I restrained myself and went to a Japanese restaurant and got Fried Calamari instead. It was really good, but it was too small of a portion that I ended up getting a Spinach, Tomato, and Feta slice from Vinnie's again. I ended the night with a Coconut FrozFruit. That made me realize that I haven't really had that many fruits this week. I'm gonna change that all tomorrow.

Day 6: Today wasn't that bad. I went for a minor jog/walk at the track in the morning. Afterwards I had a protein shake for breakfast. Then me and Niall went to city where I had yet another Veggie Burrito from Chipotle. They're quickly turning into one of my favorite meals. For dinner I had some Pasta with Pesto Sauce. All i could think about is, "Only one more day!" I'm curious as to what day 7 will be like.

Day 7: Last day! I'm kinda psyched about. I started off with a bowl of Cereal in the morning. The for lunch I had two Fish Tacos. Mexican food has certainly helped me out this week. Then I was off to hang out with Niall and Kamil. We hung out at Niall's house like the good old days. We ended up ordering Domino's because it's tradition. Usually Niall orders a Bacon Pie; Kamil gets a Pepperoni Pie; and I get a Sausage Pie. But sadly these were different circumstances. I ended up getting an extra cheese pie which wasn't bad, but it wasn't a Sausage Pie. I almost succumbed to PFC later that day, but I restrained myself and eventually, it hit midnight.

I did it! I actually did it! I don't know whether I was more proud than shocked that I actually went a whole week without meat. This week did give me a new outlook on Veggie food. It definitely broadened my horizon on what I would actually eat. I'm not going to completely shun Veggie food from now on. I'm gonna compromise and fix my diet accordingly. I realized that I can eat healthy, but still eat good food.

Why is it That...

Almost everything in a Polish Bakery has raisins in it? I mean I like raisins from time to time, but they ruin any sort of cake. Yesterday, I bit into what I thought was chocolate cake. It fucking had raisins! That's inhumane. Putting raisins in chocolate cake is the equivalent of kicking a puppy - it's just wrong.


Approximately 50% of everything you see here has raisins in it. Fuckin' A.

My Weakness

No words necessary.

Have You Ever Had Nigerian Food?

...Neither have they.